The Chrissy and Brian Show

Well no wonder...

2009-12-07T12:58:00.001-08:00

We ordered 2 pizzas to be delivered to a bar in Brooklyn yesterday. One pepperoni with extra sauce and one mushroom. We didn't get the right pies and looking at the order slip, it's hardly any wonder why. That penmanship is sloppy in any language.

We're on Hiatus

2009-12-06T06:05:00.001-08:00

We'll be back - but unfortunately our schedules have not managed to meet in the middle. That's the holidaze for you. In the meantime, enjoy my new favorite Christmas song. Go Bob!

Well this pretty much sums it up!

2009-12-03T17:01:00.001-08:00

Man with Sign-Front
Originally uploaded by Pigrocks

Needless to say, I'm canceling my Christmas shopping plans. Well, except for my family. I still want to buy something for my brother. My friends however...

The Porn Version

2009-11-21T13:13:00.001-08:00

I might check out Hot Gay Comics.

File under Silly

2009-11-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

I want to dial 999, but I can't.

Time For Change in New Jersey!

2009-11-03T15:06:00.000-08:00

New Jersey needs to get rid of this scumbag Jon Corzine! We need to end waste, corruption and tax increases in NJ now! Chris Christie all the way!

Ban Mischief Night!

2009-11-03T14:53:00.000-08:00

I was too lazy to actually take pictures of the damage in my town done by these little bastard kids, but this is a fair representation of what it looked like! Make sure you check out the show this week to hear Brian's Mischief Night Rant!

Scumbag Death Match!

2009-10-07T05:12:00.000-07:00

Here is some great video of one of those stupid pedicab drivers brawling with a taxi driver from earlier this week. In this case you really can't root for either one of them to win. They are both an equal scourge on the city!

Seriously?!?!

2009-10-05T05:43:00.000-07:00

Immigration has a promo department? Unbelievable.

Seinfeld Diner

2009-10-02T05:54:00.000-07:00

Tom's Diner - 2880 Broadway New York City, NY

Chrissy and Brian Review - Don't go to eat. Only go if you like the show and want to see a landmark and don't feel like doing the Kramer tour.

Here are some pics from the diner. Oh what fond memories.

We did enjoy seeing the exterior. That's something right? The interior sadly, was a little lacking.

Our really bad food above.

Brian outside.

Cops Play Video Games During Drug Bust

2009-09-28T22:04:00.000-07:00

It would have been ironic if they had been caught playing Grand Theft Auto.

Here is an article from MiamiHerald.com:

BARTOW -- (AP) -- A sheriff in Central Florida says he's embarrassed by a video that shows investigators from his agency among those caught on camera playing a video game while executing a search warrant.

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said Tuesday the incident is being reviewed and disciplinary action will be taken if necessary.

Video obtained by WFLA-TV in Tampa shows various officers enthusiastically playing a Nintendo Wii bowling game after storming the house near Lakeland armed with a search warrant in March.

Unknown to the officers of the anti-drug task force, video surveillance had been set up in the home of convicted drug dealer Michael Difalco, who was already in custody.

One Polk County sheriff's detective cataloging evidence is seen repeatedly putting down her work and picking up a Wii remote to bowl.

The Eyes of a Cat

2009-09-24T18:22:00.001-07:00

Melina is an inspiration to me. I'm not a fan of cats myself, but after seeing this, I can understand why someone would like them.

Jerry Jones Nose Pick a Winner! Dallas Cowboys vs. New York Giants, Sunday Night Football NFL on NBC

2009-09-22T16:51:00.001-07:00

There he is in all his glory. Jerry Jones picking his nose. That director was definitely a Giants fan.

It's hard to be 'ritzy' from this high up

2009-09-14T10:24:00.001-07:00

This was the view from the US Open. Needless to say, we were in the nosebleed.

Would you buy this?

2009-09-07T12:35:00.001-07:00

Bad photography aside, this is a bag of microwave popcorn. The company name is ConAgra Foods. ConAgra. Meaning against agriculture? That sounds horrible! Why would you call yourself that and sell food!?!?!!
Just another in a long line of things that drive me crazy.

In Like Flynn

2009-09-03T17:21:00.000-07:00

There is some doubt as to the origins of the phrase. Could be Errol for his sexual prowess. Could be Edward for his political prowess. Either way, it's definitely FLYNN, not FLINT. The chinaman was incorrect.

Oh for the love of god - NO! Please NO!

2009-08-28T05:06:00.000-07:00

Ridley's Blog Relaunch

2009-08-27T04:44:00.000-07:00

Ridley relaunched the blog and now it's better than ever. It's chock full of 70s fun and nostalgia. I especially love 'The mix tape.'

Check it out!

I Miss you Shockey!!!!

2009-08-25T11:34:00.001-07:00

This is the picture I was talking about on the show. I really miss Shockey on the NY Giants!

Recipe - Zucchini Cakes

2009-08-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

We're always talking about food on the show, so I thought I would share a recipe that I sort of made up, but not really. It's a (slight) variation on the standard zucchini/courgette fare. The variation being I used garlic instead of onion and pecorino not parmesan. I had it for breakfast today. It makes 4 and I scarfed the lot.

1 Zucchini
1 egg
1 clove garlic
2 tbsp flour
salt and pepper to taste
2 tsp oil of choosing
1 oz pecorino romano or Parmesan cheese

Grate the zucchini on the smallest hole of your box grater. Salt it and let it drain a little over a strainer. Squeeze out the water. There's a ton in there. Grate the clove of garlic into a bowl (I used the microplane grater). Add the egg and zucchini and mix together with a fork. Add the flour a tbsp at a time to get it to a nice consistency. If you like thin pancakes use less. If you like a more dense pancake, use this amount. Add salt and you can add the cheese here or add it to the top of the cake when it's in the pan. Heat the oil and when hot add the pancakes. Cook until golden brown.

We went to Sonic!

2009-08-19T17:41:00.000-07:00

We finally made it Sonic. The burger and shake were really good although I still don't understand why we had to sit in the car!

Brian did a great job ordering

I had a hard time sucking up that thick chocolate shake. ;o)

I think Brian should apply for a job here!

Brian's Vacation Photos

2009-07-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pics from my trip up north! (From l-r) Here I am doing what I do best . . . relaxing! This photo of me at the Sam Adams brewery really helps to highlight my bald spot.
This was my chair at Fenway . . . it was slightly more comfortable than the one that Chrissy gives me every week at her house!

Jersey Shore

2009-07-21T06:02:00.000-07:00

This is Sandy Hook the lovely beach in NJ. Click on the link for an article about the nightmare of shore traffic in NJ. It really doesn't make you want to head to the beach. Or if you do, it makes you want to leave really early or really late.

Ditch Dogs

2009-07-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

Macaroni and cheese covered hot dogs. Two great tastes that taste great together. Would you ever eat this? I did and holy monkeys is it good!

Bain de Soleil Commercial

2009-06-30T18:30:00.001-07:00

This commercial was made back in 1987, and if you look quickly, you can see it has an SPF of 4. 4! You might as well rub olive oil on yourself. Love the song though. I sing it constantly.

Two Down, One To Go

2009-06-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

RIP Ed McMahon. Here is the lottery commercial that they keep showing (featuring Ed) even though two of the celebrities are no longer living! The guy from Jeopardy better watch out!

Blast from the Past

2009-06-03T05:20:00.000-07:00

Found an old clip that I thought was funny - this is when we joked that one of our listeners was going to chop me up into little pieces. Serial Killers are funny!

1-800-Victim-2

2009-06-02T11:43:00.000-07:00

This is an actual commercial for a law firm. This usually airs during Maury or Jerry Springer.

Throw us a bone!

2009-05-29T10:04:00.000-07:00

If you haven't checked out the website in a while, you'll notice a new Donate button on there. Basically Brian and I are thirsty, so if you like the show, throw us a bone and buy a round. You'll be happy you did.

Blood Sausage

2009-05-26T14:07:00.000-07:00

I actually tried blood sausage/pudding on this last trip to England. I can't say I'll be eating it again anytime soon, but at least I gave it a go. Thanks goes to Paul for making it for me.

This is blood pudding before it's cooked...

...And this is the sausage AFTER it's cooked. It's the black circles of death on the plate.

Click on the link for an article about it from the beeb. I particularly like the part about making your own and the difficulties that lie therein.

Another Homeless Person With a CellPhone

2009-05-22T05:42:00.000-07:00

Thanks go to our astute listener Donald for sending this in.

Recently Michelle Obama went to serve food to the homeless at a government funded soup kitchen.

Cost of a bowl of soup at homeless shelter 0 dollars

Having Michelle Obama serve you your soup 0 dollars

Snapping a picture of a homeless person who is receiving a government funded meal while taking a picture of the first lady using his $500 Black Berry cell phone Priceless

Deleting your comments

2009-05-20T11:46:00.000-07:00

I had to delete a lot of your comments because, frankly, they were really boring. Sorry kids. If you're going to try and be outrageous, you should at least make it interesting.

Paula Deen

2009-05-02T04:28:00.000-07:00

Hey Y'all,
We've been talking a lot about how we hate almost every celebrity chef out there...Paula Deen is super high on the list. Click on the title for a great series called "Paula Deen is Trying to Kill Us" from Serious Eats.
Now, dudn't that look good!

Brian in High School

2009-04-30T16:54:00.001-07:00

Well, here is it - Zagen in his Drew Carey glasses in high school. Enjoy.
Click on the link for a random Drew Carey clip on TPIR. Drew is STILL rocking the glasses.

"Thanks Easter Bunny! Bock Bock"

2009-04-11T17:39:00.001-07:00

Thanks to astute listener Mark who found the old "Thanks Easter Bunny" commercial that I LOVED as a kid.
Bock Bock!

Spring!!!

2009-04-02T15:38:00.000-07:00

I know it's cheezy, but I'm so glad that spring is here. These are my daffs. I didn't kill them and that makes me very happy!
Click on the link for the oldest easter joke in the book.

The Compendium!!!

2009-03-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

So I haven't managed to upload an excel spreadsheet to this stupid blog, but I HAVE managed to put the excel spreadsheet into photoshop and create a jpg out of it. Apologies all around for the size. And click on the link for a cool looking restaurant called Zebulon in San Francisco. If anyone's buying, mines a Jeremiah.
Thank you to Zebulon for creating this amazing list of all the Britishisms we have used on the Chrissy and Brian Show!

I'm going to be on The Radio Dan Show Tonight

2009-03-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

I (Chrissy) will be on around 8:15 tonight, Wednesday March 18th so tune in.

Welsh Asda Complaint

2009-03-05T12:48:00.000-08:00

This is the Asda pizza complaint that Rick from Bristol sent in. Really funny.

The Weirdos

2009-02-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid my only friend actually was a "China man" and we spent all of our time making this comic strip called The Weirdos. I tried to find the original drawings, but couldn't locate them yet. So I decided to recreate them myself. These are my childhood characters The Weirdos! And don't despair . . . they are drawn just as crudely as I drew them in third grade.

It's a Chrissy and Brian Show Follow Up

2009-02-06T11:46:00.000-08:00

Brian brought us the story of the pistol whipping pizza guy and now it seems this pizza owner really is part of the mob! We brought it to you first people!

Chrissy At the Studio

2009-02-05T07:57:00.000-08:00

Here is what Brian has to look at every week during the show!!!

CREEPY!

2008-12-18T08:14:00.001-08:00

I was out Christmas shopping and I had this odd feeling that someone was behind me. I turned around and saw THIS. This uber creepy manequin staring at me! Get away from me devil woman!

My favorite Bartender in NYC

2008-11-23T08:08:00.000-08:00

It's unclear if he is in the Irish mafia, but he's the best.

My Christmas Shopping is Done

2008-11-19T04:24:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

"Episode 92: From our foreign correspondent..."

2008-11-17T11:57:00.000-08:00

We asked him to write the show description, so here it is. Thanks Lonsie!

November 14, 2008
"Episode 92: From our foreign correspondent..."
The show opens with Brian wilfully misunderstanding the concept of Halloween. A recent deluge of email then provokes a series of discussions, starting with what really happens during all those breaks? Then politics rears its head, with Brian espousing his version of President Roosevelt's "speak softly and carry a big stick". In Brian's version, though, the word 'softly' is replaced with 'loudly'. Chrissy responds vigorously with, in essence, Dr Johnson's assertion that "patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel". Chrissy is obsessive about grammar. Brian imitates his neighbours. Then Chrissy speaks warmly of an email exchange with a listener conducted in Jane Austen's language. Brian declares "It's like poetry. But if it isn't about me, I couldn't give a crap." Brian and Chrissy then wilfully misunderstand the principle of postcards. A dilemma involving a romantic enticement to switch votes is followed by two news items illuminating the human condition. Darwin would despair.

How Do People Do It?

2008-11-13T04:29:00.000-08:00

I saw two guys in Penn Station last night asleep standing up. I can't imagine doing that! I can barely sleep in a chair! I only got a picture of the one guy though - the other one was in a busier spot and it would have been obvious I was taking a picture of him...not that he would have known but other people would. That would be weird.

Signs Around NYC

2008-11-11T05:10:00.000-08:00

Having a wander around the east village, I saw a few signs that made me laugh.

I know this is a store, but the name just seems wrong to me.

This is definitely my favorite. Nothing beats a garden-LIKE view.

And now, a Chrissy and Brian Show follow up

2008-10-17T05:04:00.000-07:00

We brought you this story of the inmate who claimed he was too fat to die.

"His attorneys had argued that his weight problem could make it difficult for prison staff to access a vein. A prisons spokeswoman said earlier that Cooey received a pre-execution exam and was cleared."

Pre-execution exam????? What? And as a way to perhaps screw up the exam results, this was his last meal...

"Cooey ordered a special meal Monday that included a T-bone steak with A-1 sauce, onion rings, french fries, four eggs over easy, toast with butter, hash browns, a pint of rocky road ice cream, a Mountain Dew soft drink and bear claw pastries"

"Test me again! Test me again!" he seemed to say.

However, despite even the addition of the bear claws at the end, they somehow managed to get that lethal injection right into his vein. So much for that theory. When Brian finally kills me, he will have to think of something else to get off death row.

My Mentor

2008-10-17T04:55:00.000-07:00

I want to be like Ringo Starr. On October 20th, he is officially not signing any more autographs or reading any more fan mail. That's it. He's done. He has too many other things to do than to read about how great he is.

So I'm going to do the same thing - stop sending me things to sign people. Honestly! Will you ever be satisfied! October 20th, 2099 will be my final autograph. That's it, people. I have to set limits.

Yours sincerely,
Chrissy
Peace

Brian in the Studio

2008-09-06T04:23:00.001-07:00

Here he is folks, right there in the ol' studio.

Are You Gay?

2008-09-05T08:19:00.000-07:00

Since we played Guess the Gay Meaning (courtesy of out Superfan Whitney), Brian wants to know how many of our listeners are gay. Would you have passed the quiz? You can be anonymous but I would love to know too? Are we reaching the gay audience?

Click the link for a fun song!

Bacon

2008-08-31T13:10:00.001-07:00

My friend CeCe is a devoted bacon lover, so I had to get her this wallet.

It just seemed like the right thing to do.

Now I think I may need to send her some of these chocolates. I keep seeing pictures of chocolate covered bacon all the time. And I'm starting to think that maybe it's not such a bad idea. Clogged arteries be damned! Brian, care to join me for a lovely snack?

I love England and all but...

2008-08-20T12:53:00.000-07:00

This is totes GROSS! Have any of you Brits seen this? Eaten this? I want to know!!! The fact that it's only 29p a pound is truly horrifying.

I can't find my pants!

2008-08-17T06:34:00.001-07:00

I don't quite understand how this happened, but I have managed to lose an ENTIRE LOAD OF LAUNDRY! I've dealt with the missing sock my whole life, but this is ri-GodDamn-diculous! I lost about 3 pairs of jeans, untold pairs of undies and I don't even know how many shirts. I am so upset!

Vegas

2008-08-16T05:07:00.000-07:00

Yeah some Vegas pics!

I got to meet Emeril!

And Freddie Mercury!!!

There was this really hot Hawaiian waiter at Sushi Samba

My friend CeCe came out from LA for the weekend.

This is co-worker Paul from Episodes 67 and 69.

You can see more on Facebook. Of course we have to be friends first and there is a rigorous process to go through to become my friend. I will say yes to anyone who asks me. Yes folks, it's just that simple.

Chrissy's Birthday Party

2008-07-13T21:05:00.000-07:00

Just a couple shots from my birthday bash. Brian was actually in attendance!

This is me trying to strike a slutty pose and trying to make my hair sexy for listener Leo.

This is our super fan Tricia with Brian and Ridley.

Bat in the Bra Story

2008-07-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

This is the bat in the bra photo Brian was talking about. Genius! Click on the link for the full story.

That's the south for you

2008-07-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

Driving to my friends bridal shower in Maryland, I stumbled across this lovely license plate. I'm so glad I don't come from cockeysville. I'm responsible for the cheeseball photoshopping as well. Would seriously hate for a redneck to a. listen to the show, b. check out the blog and 3. actually recognize his plate! (You can see me in the top of the photo btw in my pink shirt taking the piccie.)

Newark - NJ's Most Dynamic College Town

2008-06-08T07:51:00.002-07:00

A while back I talked about how ridiculous this billboard is for Newark NJ. It is dynamic if you relish the threat of getting shot and/or mugged on a daily basis. Thanks Ridley for taking the photo!

New Photo

2008-06-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

Hey there,

Brian and I happened to be in the same room with a camera so we took a photo. Damn that boy is a tall drink of water!

Have a great weekend everyone!
Chrissy x

At least Shockey is still on the market

2008-04-21T11:05:00.001-07:00

A sad day indeed. Congrats Eli!

Ridley's Blog

2008-04-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

Ridley posted such a funny blog on made in the 70s.

Top 10 Things That Weren't Dangerous Then, But Are Now

This is what someone from South Dakota looks like!

2008-04-18T05:20:00.000-07:00

It's a little scary right? ha ha.
This is Danny, our current Superfan. He worked in a book store like Brian, although he managed to get out of that racket. Congrats and thanks for listening Danny!

Dopey Bus Trips

2008-04-14T15:48:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid I had no friends. I spent all of my weekends, vacations and summers with my elderly aunt. One thing I really loved the most is when we went on these bus tours all over the east coast. We visited places like Newport, Rhode Island and Bennington, Vermont. We saw really lame attractions like the Grandma Moses Art Museum. I thought that this crap was the greatest thing ever. Even as I got older, I held on to these fond memories. Then things changed a few years ago. Like a dope, I decided to go on one of these bus trips with Barbara. The destination was Block Island, off of Rhode Island. My delusional memories were shattered when I realized that everyone else on the bus was at least 87 years old. And they weren't nice, sweet old people either. They were nasty and scummy. The accommodations or lack thereof were miserable. It was a nightmare. Here is a pic as proof of what a good time I had. What was I thinking when I decided to go on this trip with Barbara??

Yeah, I didn't kill everything!

2008-04-12T15:35:00.001-07:00

Not sure if anyone cares, but these are the hyacinths that I didn't manage to kill. Yeah! Maybe my garden won't be such a mud patch this year.

Sharting Advice

2008-04-09T04:25:00.000-07:00

Apparently a lot more people are interested in sharting than I would have imagined. Here is an article about sharting from something called "The Poop Report." Call me crazy, but I have a feeling that I'll be going back to this site for more show topics. On a side note . . . my Google search of "shart" also turned up results for a series of Indian movies with "shart" in the title. I'm assuming that "shart" has a different meaning over there . . . or does it?

Michael Moore - Porn Star

2008-04-06T05:32:00.000-07:00

It never occurred to me that a documentary on health care would be fodder for a porn spoof, but our Canadian listener David certainly thinks so. He's already done the poster and if I understand it correctly, is working on casting right now. Go David! Click on the pic for a larger version.

Going Commando

2008-04-05T06:25:00.000-07:00

I really didn't know the origins of the phrase 'going commando,' but this is what the urban dictionary has to say about it.

Going Commando
If a person is 'going commando', they are not wearing any underwear.

It is called 'going commando' because of an old practice in the army, where, so you didn't shit your underwear in battle, you didn't wear any - and therefore could boast that you didn't shit your pants.

Also a known cure for vpl.

"I'm gonna wear those really tight shorts and go commando to show off my bulge."

Ridley's Blog

2008-03-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

Check out Ridley's blog - www.madeinthe70s.blogspot.com

www.yourmom.com

2008-03-28T05:19:00.000-07:00

It's a website but no one is doing anything with it! What the hell! I need to buy this from the person so I can really bring back all those wonderful "your mom" jokes.

The Drinking Game

2008-02-17T14:13:00.000-08:00

These are the original rules of the Chrissy and Brian Show drinking game by listener Sam:

Every time Brian says "there you go" you take a shot. If Chrissy immediately repeats the phrase you shotgun a beer. If Chrissy says the phrase without first being provoked by Brian you begin drinking your beer through a straw and continue until it is empty or Brian says it again (and take another shot).

These are the added rules by Ambra:

When Brian says "to be honest", all players must drink until he gets to the point or they finish their respective beers, whichever comes first.

When Chrissy drops into an accent, the last person to put their finger to their nose, must take a) one drink if it's British or New York/New Jersey, b) two drinks if it's Scottish or any other country under HRM's mighty empire (this excludes Ireland, but everyone knows Chrissy can't do Irish anyway, c) finish their beer if it's anything else.

And Ridley added some rules to the game too!:

Every time Chrissy says "Yeah, right." - 1 shot.
Every time Brian says "Ohhhh... Why did you just say that?" - 1 shot.
If Brian calls someone a Scumbag, Yenta, or Little Punk - 1 shot each.
If Chrissy uses one of the following British swear words, because they're not banned by the FCC: Wanker, Shite, Bugger or Bollocks - 1 shot each.
Extra shot if she says "Buggery bollocky bastard"
Chrissy mentions Jeremy Shockey - Drink 1 can of Schlitz.
Brian mentions Tiffani Amber Thiessen - Drink 1 Wine Cooler.
Chrissy says "Ruh-Roh!" - Shotgun a beer.
Brian threatens Chrissy with violence - Shotgun a beer.
If Chrissy actually makes Brian laugh out loud - Shotgun everything you have.

Thanks so much for creating the game! It's Awesome!

Eli Manning on Letterman Part 2

2008-02-10T16:11:00.001-08:00

This is the second half of the interview.

Eli Manning on Letterman Part 1

2008-02-10T16:05:00.000-08:00

I love this interview. Manning is too cute.

Who's Who?

2007-10-30T18:24:00.001-07:00

Chrissy and Brian in the studio with the Brits

Pluto Gets a Beatdown

2007-10-11T05:11:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to the video of Pluto chasing the brat and subsequently getting a beating. Included is the Benny Hill Remix! Enjoy!

Please back me up - 260?!?!

2007-09-28T04:20:00.000-07:00

Where did that number come from? Has Brian EVER said he was 260?

Chrissy and Brian - The formative years

2007-09-20T18:29:00.001-07:00

Here you go. We finally got around to posting these.

He's got nerve

2007-08-31T08:08:00.000-07:00

I love the sense of entitlement from Brian over the issue of whiskey swag. He hasn't even worked a full day and yet he believes that he deserves a bottle. And he truly believes he does. Meanwhile I've worked hard for 5 years building up my company and my client list to get where I am today. It's not been easy and I'm not handing over the spoils of war so quickly. He's got nerve to even ask me, don't you think?

Nominate our Show!

2007-07-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone,

The Podcast Awards are coming up. It would be awesome if you could nominate our show. Just click on the title of this post and it will bring you to the nomination page. Or go here http://podcastawards.com/index.php?option=nominate

You can nominate us for both comedy and for People's Choice. All the nominations need to be in by July 15th.

Thanks so much everyone!

Guess the Meaning Words

2007-06-14T04:41:00.000-07:00

Hello to everyone in Blighty!
Do you have a good word for Brian to Guess the Meaning?
Send us an email to chrissyandbrianshow@gmail.com

Thanks!

BrideZilla

2007-06-13T11:19:00.000-07:00

This is the youtube video about the Bridezilla. Even if it is fake, it's brilliant.

http://img.youtube.com/vi/_nFDnC8SSWQ/2.jpg

Burlesque Show

2007-06-06T12:59:00.000-07:00

This is the show I went to that I talk about in Episode 17. If you're in NYC, check it out, it's funny. Of course, you can't be squeamish about hot chicks getting their kit off. Of course, I think most of our audience is a bunch of perverts so you're all sure to be fine with it. Join the ranks of Brian and the pervert brigade!
http://www.kittynights.com

The Dreaded Trucks

2007-05-06T04:50:00.000-07:00

Here is something I (Brian) wrote last summer. I originally wanted to send it into my local newspaper, but never followed through of course.

Those Dreaded Trucks:
Am I the only one who is tired of seeing these landscaping trucks? Every person on my block, it seems, with the exception of myself uses landscapers. Now this might not say much about my lawn, but I know one thing for sure; I am not contributing to this awful noise pollution.
I work retail so I work weekends. When I try to sleep in, say past 8:00 am on my day off it is virtually impossible because all summer long the dreaded noise brigade will be in town.
First, you hear their trucks beeping when they back up. They usually park the wrong way on the street and block about eight driveways. Then after a few fleeting seconds of quiet the back hatch of the truck opens. Usually a minimum of about five Guatemalan guys (probably illegal) emerge. They all simultaneously whip out grass blowers and lawn mowers. Then like proverbial chickens without heads they begin running around blasting everything in sight. The noise is so brutal that it is often difficult to tell the difference between them mowing and blowing and the Sturgis Bike Rally.
Most of these landscaping companies seem to have a monopoly on the block. One company does half the houses and some other one does the rest. The process goes on for about an hour or so. But half the time just as one company packs up and finally takes off to disturb the peace on some other quiet block another truck appears with a different logo and it begins again.
Do we really need our lawns tended to this much? It seems like once you get involved with a landscaping contract every week all they do is show up and mow and blow and mow and blow. They mow and blow even if there’s nothing to be mowed or blowed because they just did it three days earlier.
Nowadays people are obsessed with pollution. Air pollution, water pollution, etc. How about noise pollution? I can have my TV on at full volume and my air conditioner blasting, but the only thing I can hear is Lawnmowers R Us across the street. I am tired of it and I know that I’m not the only one afflicted by this miserable noise contamination. Make it known that you want to see these dreaded trucks less often. Let’s bring the sounds of silence back by popular demand.

Brian's Dog

2007-04-24T07:12:00.000-07:00

Sundance after Brian's been wrestling with the dog. Poor thing!